The Wave That Made Me Cry

“Won’t you be my neighbor?”

— Fred Rogers

Family Weekend at the University of Iowa last weekend was a great success! Eight of us from Havia’s family descended upon her in Iowa City, where she was happy to play the part of tour guide, showing us her favorite places on and off campus. We were also introduced to some personal traditions of my brother and cousin for Iowa football games for the last 19 years. We all decked out in our black and gold, enjoyed the chilly air, and went to the Hawkeye vs Minnesota game. (Iowa won big, so that was fun!)

One University of Iowa tradition we got to participate in was recently ranked number one college stadium tradition by USA Today: The Hawkeye Wave.

At the end of the fourth quarter, 70,000+ fans, players, and students turn around to wave at the pediatric patients at the UI Stead Family Children’s Hospital, located just behind the stadium. Both teams’ players stand on the field together, waving at the kids. Both sides of the stadium, home and away, stand together and wave at the kids. Every cheerleader, mascot, band player, referee, coach, and cotton candy sales person stand together and wave at the kids. The kids, with giant cardboard hands, stuffed animals, and construction paper signs, wave back. And it goes on for quite a few minutes. 

Havia and I looked around, soaked it all in, and the tears began to fall. 

There was so much love beaming out at the same time and in the same direction! It was absolutely overwhelming. 

When I think about life outside that moment, I think about the lines and identities we draw and create between each other and about ourselves. We draw invisible lines that differentiate and categorize us. We define our identities that separate and divide us. And for what? To stand, facing each other, explaining our view of these identities and categories and trying our best not to listen to what the other might say, lest they bring down this whole false and misconceived worldview?

What if we just opted out of that way of being? What if we decided not to stand and face each other, but instead to turn and look in the same direction? I think a few things might happen:

1. We might accidentally see their perspective and realize they do, indeed, have a point somewhere in there.
2. We might find out we have way more in common than not.
3. We might see a third way emerge, breaking us out of dualistic thinking and showing a path that benefits all.

The list could go on, but you see what I mean. 

I love a good debate as much as anyone (check out Ezra Klein and Ben Shapiro’s conversations), and I love it when both sides are actually cordial, offer concessions, and have a healthy, respectful dialogue. There is certainly a place for this. 

But this little intention I’m brewing has to do with facing the same direction for a greater purpose. Erase the lines that divide and the identities that separate. I’m just me, and you’re just you, in all my me-ness and you in your you-ness, looking at the kids, at the homeless, at our elected leaders, at our community school boards, our neighbors, entertainers, prisoners, migrants, and clergy, and see them all as part of us-ness. 

Perhaps we all stand together, shoulder to shoulder, and wave, full of love and hope, at the future we want to create. Then all we have to do is start walking that direction. 

What will be your first step?

Here are the things I’m offering now to help you stand in your you-ness, facing the world with love and hope:

~ Practice Through starts Friday! These 30-minute live-to-recording sessions will introduce you to my favorite 11 tools and techniques to create a place of peace and calm during times of transition, chaos, or upheaval. The classes are yours to keep! $111. Register HERE 

~ Chakras in Chacala, Mexico Retreat, May 10-16. There are just a couple rooms left, (and the loft!) for you to get a total mind/body/energy reset. Retreats are a great way to release what divides and open up to your full potential of love and hope. Check it out HERE.  

~ Save the date! Soon I will release details and open registration for my first Pilgrimage to Chartres Cathedral in France, October 3-10, 2026. Stay tuned…

May you see with eyes of love, have a heart full of hope, and may your love and hope inspire all those you encounter to do the same.

Much love