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Encountering Inner Resistance

Several months ago I met someone at a little gathering and she just got on my nerves.  I feel like I've already met her many times in my life in other versions, and I'm just not interested in having this person in my circle.  And this might be a totally valid response, or I might be preventing myself from engaging with, or even enjoying, someone new.   So I believe this deserves some inquiry, since that's what we do when we're in the self awareness game.


Interestingly, the word "resistance" keeps coming up in conversation these days, so I thought it was time to take a look at this issue from the angle of resistance. The kind of resistance I'm talking about is a sense of pushing back against what you know you should do, what you actually want to do, or to what you have to do.  For example,

  • you have to make a big change in your life because something just isn't working out the way you had hoped.
  • you know you want to exercise/meditate/do yoga/get up early (or whatever) every day because you know you feel better when you do, but you just can't seem to get it going.
  • you have to accept something about the way things are, and your mind/heart prevents you from saying "yes" to what is.
  • you need to get over something or let it go, but you just can't. 
  • you want to like this person, but something repels you and you can't put your finger on it.


Can you see yourself in any of these examples?  I know I can. 


So rather than let the resistance win, which can actually exclude us from some great stuff in life, we can get curious.  Let's ask our resistance what's up. Or, as Christine suggested in class, "Invite our resistance to have a cup of tea."


Can't you just picture it?


Here's how:

  • Do a little movement that helps you settle into your body.
  • Slowly deepen your breath and make your inhales and exhales last about the same amount of time. 
  • Focus your mind on your breath until you start to relax and feel present.  
  • Allow your resistance to come to mind. 
  • Feel in your body for pockets of tension or clenching.
  • With your mind on that area, say to yourself, "Hello Resistance.  What would you like me to know?"
  • Listen.  Try not to judge. Try not to argue with it. See what comes up.  Journal about it.


You might get some great insight from one session, or you might want to sit with it several times over the next few days.  It can be helpful to befriend your Resistance.  Name it. Smile at it.  Acknowledge it for whatever purpose it is serving in your life. Is it protecting you from something, but it's running on an old script?  Is it simply working from attachments and aversions?  It might be there to help you grow as you move through it, or it might be a true signal to stop and go a different direction.  The quiet stillness will help you know best.  It's all information for you to increase awareness and see what's going on behind the curtain of your mind.  


May you enjoy a cup of tea with your resistance, and may you learn some valuable information that will lead you to YES.  


Much love,


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